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How Can We Help Our Children Become Good Digital Citizens?

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SOUTH LEARNERS CREATIVE SCHOOL, INC.

SY 2023-2024
Month of September

 

PARENTS’ CORNER – SEPTEMBER 2023

Parental Online Control

How Can We Help Our Children Become Good Digital Citizens?

We are familiar with the term “citizen”, denoting a membership or affiliation to a specific location. Our children (and ourselves), as users of new technology, may be dubbed as “digital citizens”, because of how we utilize technology (gadgets, multimedia, internet and the like) in our everyday lives. Our children are even called “digital natives”, wherein kids younger than toddler age may already navigate platforms such as You Tube (their ability to move from Baby Shark to Coco Melon by themselves) made parents ask “How did they know about it?”, digital natives indeed.

Realizing the implications of the digital age, it is imperative that stakeholders (such as families and the school) should work hand in hand in ensuring the foundations of good digital citizenship of our children.

The parents and other family members have very important responsibilities: (1)being good role models (2) teaching and facilitating (3) guiding and correcting and (4)monitoring. Another important thing to point out is how OUR OWN PARENTING STYLES AND PHILOSOPHIES play an integral part in honing our children to becoming responsible digital citizens.

BEING A GOOD ROLE MODEL

“Your actions speak so loudly, I cannot hear what you are saying.”

― Ralph Waldo Emerson

This is a very striking quote from Ralph Waldo Emerson, as it reminds us to reflect about “TEACHING BY EXAMPLE”. Let us begin first with analyzing the gadget/ multimedia/ internet use of our family.

How many hours a day do we spend in the internet/gadget? For what purpose?
Note: For younger children, this may affect their attention, language acquisition and social skills development
Do we do this while eating or before sleeping?
Do we balance this with other activities?
Do we allow gadget-free quality time?
These are all tough questions, but as parents, we need to be good examples FIRST.Being a good role model is NOT only limited to the frequency and duration, but to the quality of use.
How do we stay away from bad sites or fake news?
How do we respond to aggressive posts?
How do we respond to “bashing” or “bullying” that can be seen in the multi media? Do we react or respond or ignore?

 

TEACHING AND FACILITATING

Another important facet is teaching and facilitating our children to become more responsible “online”. It is a constant challenge for many, as we did NOT grow up with this kind of set up and environment.

*Teaching Control: Putting a designated “gadget time” to delineate that technology use is NOT a typical daily routine activity.

*Contract Setting: Gadget/technology use is a privilege. (I always tell my husband that it is not part of Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs, not that Abraham Maslow will know of our situation now). Gadget may be offered as a positive reinforcement AFTER a task completion/ chore completion/ test period and the like. It is something that they earn, and not a right they are born with.

*Establishing Good Habits: Our kids love their technology use, there is no denying this reality. They can spend HOURS and HOURS yet not noticing it. As every household is DIFFERENT, EACH can discuss their expected schedule/s of gadget/internet use for the children.

GUIDING, CORRECTING, MONITORING
Love is trust. We trust our children.
However, as many parents (like myself) learned, it has to be JUDICIOUS as well.
We have to teach, guide and correct our children– about privacy, security and cyberbullying.

Below are some tips on how we can educate our children to become more responsible online.

  • Explain WHY it is important for kids to not give personal information (ex: their home address or school), or post inappropriate pictures or videos of themselves online
  • Explain to children WHAT sites are appropriate for kids and which ones are not, and WHY these sites must be avoided
  • Emphasize that they should interact with everyone online WITH RESPECT. They should NOT engage in bad words, name-calling, rude conversations and other activities that can hurt the feelings of others. Furthermore,  children must be taught on what is deemed funny versus disrespectful . One should not post anything, whether a photo, video, or comment, that could end up hurting someone’s feelings.
  • Conversely, we have to teach our children WHAT to do when they are bullied online. Examples include (the FIRST step) telling a responsible adult and NOT engaging/participating in the bad situation
  • For children exposed to social media: Inform and explain that what they see in the internet is NOT ALWAYS true. Sometimes there are people who are lying or using a fake identity in social media.
  • Educate the children about the kind of photos that they share. They should know never to post nude pictures or anything that could be seen as suggestive, even if they are sending these pictures to someone that they know and trust. Explain the consequences if photos like these were stolen or shared without permission.
  • Explain that real life interactions are more important and seek/ provide opportunities for these

Truly, living in the “digital age” has its pros and cons. By teaching our children to become responsible digital citizens, we prepare them for the years to come.

Written by:

Kay Ezekiel T. Ravago, OTRP, LPT
Program Director, SLCS

Helping Our Children Transition from the Pandemic

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By: Kay Ezekiel Ravago, OTRP, LPT

The development of children has always been holistic. Never has it become more pronounced, than in mitigating the effects of the lock down. The early childhood and primary years have always been pivotal in the development of our children. Through experiences, opportunities to try something new, and enjoying varied sensations (movement, touch, balance, and the like) the children’s brain becomes a powerful bank of learning and development.

We already know how the past years concretely affected children. Loss of these opportunities means less feedback on the child’s developing brain and body.

Now that we are in transitioning from the lock down, we see a window of possibilities. How can we help our children in this transition? As a parent, this is something I would also advise myself.

  1. LET THE SUNSHINE IN. “Let there be light.” Exposure to sunlight is not just a “Vitamin D” Science lesson. Exposure to the sun is also good for their eye sight. Given that many children were/are exposed to gadgets and television (and may exceed recommended time), few minutes with the morning sun is recommended. Sunlight (and Vitamin D) may also be helpful not just for our bones, but also in alleviating our mood, and make us feel better.
  2. I LIKE TO MOVE IT. Let us provide opportunities for movement. For this I would recommend two kinds—(a) gross body movements (arms, legs like walking, running, jumping, biking and sports like different ball games and swimming) (b) fine movements of hands and fingers—(drawing, coloring, writing, painting and the like).
  3. NO MAN IS AN ISLAND. Find opportunities for children to socialize. This is one of the reasons why (with safety in consideration) we opt for face to face classes for my three kids. Even if there are online socialization activities, an avenue for face to face interaction is still recommended. It can be play dates with family members or neighbors, or involvement in church group activities, or joining group pursuits like group sports and the like. Social skills is a BIG UMBRELLA of skills, not just the ability to make friends (although this is one important goal). These skills also include listening and eliciting proper response, appropriate play behaviors and skills (esp. for younger kids), working productively in a group, appropriate response to adults and peers, working collaboratively with peers, and the like.
  4. BE INTENTIONAL. As with different areas in life, being intentional with one’s goals and aspirations is important in crafting the steps towards its success. An analogy that I like best is comparing it with a school setting. In school, we have different learning academic goals (for different subjects in the class). Teachers would craft lesson plans , methodology and assessments to ensure academic goals are met. Going back to the home setting, goals like increasing independence and improving discipline would require intentional and concrete moves on the side of the parents. My favorite examples are (a) setting a structure and routine on the children’s everyday schedule (b) assigning age appropriate chores and (c) letting the children learn from the natural consequences of their actions. Meanwhile, as parents we have more challenging tasks, such as (a) being good role models – our actions and words should match what we teach to our children (b)continue learning- may it be through parenting books , forums or the like, or areas of improvement in our actual parenting routine.
  5. KEEP THE FAITH. Last but definitely NOT the least, is involving the true source of faith, hope and love, that is God. One of the most powerful lessons of the pandemic is holding on to our faith, and upholding the importance of having a strong spirituality in our family. In our household, we have established a regular family prayer time, and my kids learned the immeasurable importance of God and prayers in their lives, something that my husband and I aspire they would keep until they grow older. One of my favorite verses in the bible is the one from Proverbs 3:5 “ Trust in the LORD will all your heart and lean not on your own understanding”. The pandemic truly allowed us to show how trustworthy we are to God, as we embark on the different challenges brought by this incident.

Let’s Manage Our Time Properly

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Although our gadgets are available, it should NOT be about these gadgets all the time.

We ask the SLCS parents to please MONITOR the gadget time of their children (no matter how tempting and “peaceful” if children will just indulge all day). It is better if clear routines are established where time for indoor exercise/indoor motor games as well daily “study periods” are still incorporated as if they are still in school. These are ways to help students who will spend a lot of time at home.

Thank you and keep safe!

Teacher Kay and Kids

Behaving With Children

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By: Kay Ezekiel T. Ravago, OTRP, LPT

As parents, we are very much concerned of our children’s behavior. The truth is, however, we should also be concern of OUR own behavior towards them. This is something I further realized as an educator and as a parent. We cannot say “Do not follow the mistake that I have done” or “Be patient” or “Please wait”, when as adults we are frustrated a lot over adjustments in our waiting time. Truly, ACTIONS speak louder than words. I recently read a book entitled “How to Behave So Your Pre Schooler Will, Too”. This is written by Sal Severe, Phd. Like myself, he also had experience with kids (esp. those who need to improve behaviors in school and at home).

While we cannot always monitor intensively, I have listed below quick tips on how to “behave” ourselves so that our kids can too.

  1. We are models for our kids. ALL the TIME. ALWAYS. As previously mentioned, the family is the cornerstone of the society and provided the primary influence to children. My advice is to always “catch ourselves” on how we behave during challenging situations. For example, expressions like “S___!” can be something that can be picked up by kids. The worse is, they think its totally acceptable because mama and dada used it. Yes, potty mouth may be affected by television and popular media, but it can also be influenced by the people around our children (inc. our yaya, househelp, kids in the neightborhood, etc.)
  1. Acknowledge that affect (emotional being) CANNOT be “happy” all the time. I love using the Pixar movie “Inside Out” for this. While JOY is essential in life, other emotions such as sadness, fear and anger are inevitable. We must teach our kids how to “handle” it in more acceptable ways. For example, if our child gets upset, we do NOT really need to reprimand him/her if there is really something to be upset about. Instead, we can teach them to verbalize their wants (instead of whining), let them cry (if it really hurt them) and then assist them to moving on and finding a better behavior. It is really a different scenario of course if for example a parent would curse and fight a fellow driver amidst a parking problem. This goes back to tip number one, we acknowledge the negative emotions, and we find ways to MANAGE and SHOW more acceptable behaviors ourselves.
  1. Avoid DEGREGATORY remarks to kids. It damages their self esteem and self worth. And when they become adults…(consequences——) Your child breaks something, your child made a mistake in her reviewer, your child spilled it again, forgot to put it back… a myriad of mistakes. In this regard, our FOCUS must be on the ACTION and what MUST be DONE to improve the action next time.

Words like

“That was a stupid thing to do”

“That is a dumb thing and answer”

“What’s wrong with you and your head”

Statements such as above pose more harm than good. It teaches the kids how incapable and unworthy they are, instead of what must be done. It is easier said than done though. As a parent, you will really have MOMENTS that you will lose it. And when this happens alongside other stressful events in your life , one will really lose it! I am no expert in this as well. As a parent for 10 years and counting, I am also a work in progress- DAILY, EVERY MINUTE—to MASTER MY OWN emotions and be tactful not just to my kids but to everyone. As previously mentioned, my kids are ALWAYS watching!

This is related to the next item—

  1. Manage your anger. Our emotions have a profound effect on their well being and our kids’ consequent behavior. We are always an “influencer” in our kids’ lives, may it be consciously or not.
  2. Create a POSITIVE routine. Parents sometimes wonder why kids tend to “behave better” in school. I say its because of the ROUTINE (structure) that is expected during classroom time. (ex: settling down, prayer, study time, break, study time, group activities, going home ). Now that technology is a distraction, setting a particular and REGULAR “gadget time”, “study time”, “meal time” and “sleeping time” (at specific schedule) are very helpful in helping kids do and master EXPECTED behaviors in each particular situation.
  1. Talk with your child and PRAY together. This for me is the MOST important tip. I always inculcate with my kids the value of putting GOD FIRST. This is the most important POSITIVE routine of all, for them to put their faith and trust to God to help them with their wishes and goals, and to help them become the best version of themselves.

For me, that is one of the things I pray for (to be a constantly better parent). Becoming a parent doesn’t automatically make us the BEST parent. Parenting is a daily learning experience, no matter how many kids you are able to teach, or how many childhood and parenting books you read. If God entrusts us the privilege to be a parent, then we must more so entrust to HIM the grace and the parenting ability—esp. in knowing how to behave so that our kids will too!

parenting

Parenting in A Gadget Driven World: YouTube, Facebook, Online Games… how do we deal with our kids’ digital life?

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By: Kay Ezekiel Ravago, OTRP

I am an educator, an occupational therapist and a mother of three. I am very aware of the different behavior modification practices, the different parenting styles, the importance of education and collaboration of education stakeholders. I am a mother to a nine year old, a three year old and an 11 month old. As the school’s program director, I get to be the “mother” of our pre school and grade school students too.
Yet, despite of all these supposed background knowledge and experience… I still ask myself the question—“WHAT’S THE DEAL WITH KIDS AND GADGETS”?

Some say its ‘the generation thing’. Kids nowadays are called “digital natives”, as they spend a considerable amount of time in a specific gadget, may it be for entertainment, socialization or education purposes.
We did a research study in our school (South Learners Creative School, Las Pinas) among our Grade 4-6 students, and we found out that almost 87% of them use social media. This does not include younger children who may be allowed internet time, may it be watching kid-oriented shows in the internet or even playing games.
Now, for me to fight the data is futile, and the next step is to manage the inevitable.
I cannot track anymore how many times I am asked the question—“Should we allow gadget to our child”?

I am a believer of moderation. I grew up in a disciplined, authoritarian parenting style. Although it worked for me, I do not think it will work very well for the children in this generation.
YES, I will allow gadget time, but like what I said—it is just a “gadget time”.

  • I enforce a ‘gadget time’ to each child. It is not more than 2 hours per day for Sophia (3 years old), and only on weekends for Summer (9 years old), but for 2-3 hours per day. Although there may be circumstances that I give “bonus time”, especially to my 9 year old, I make sure she understands that this is just a part of our reward system.
  • I make it clear that gadget time is a privilege, and can be taken away once expected behaviors are not met.
  • I make sure I AM THERE TOO. They cannot do their gadgets in private. This way, I can see what they are watching.
  • For some sights (especially educational ones), I watch with them, and ask them about the content they saw.
  • I do not allow them to have Facebook accounts (yet). What is the point? I, as a parent, will gauge and train my child towards responsible social media use. Until I have educated and guided them, there is no need to have any Facebook account. Further, aam seeing so many young children, already with social media accounts.
  • Regarding the screening time: The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) recommends not more than one hour of screen time for children 18 months to 5 years old.
  • If your child has a speech delay, or other behavioral concerns, talk with your developmental pediatrician and therapist/s about your rules and stand regarding screening time. It has to be

  • Make sure there are other activities in the house. How about group games, art time, free reading, food preparation, getting a pet, drawing, clay and other activities? Free time (with no gadget) will not hurt anyone.
  • PRACTICE setting your rules regarding screening time. BE FIRM. BE CONSISTENT. As I always say, we are the parent here… we are the adult here. Mind check: Do not forget these.
  • SAFE BROWSING BY AGE
    I am not YET practicing these to my kids, but safe browsing guidelines are always helpful. These are some tips from Parents Magazine (December, 2016)

a. For kids under 5 years old: Build a “list” of sites that will be allowed
b. For kids 5 to 8 years old: Use a kid friendly browser. Disable the browser (Safari, Chrome, etc) then replace it with a kid friendly browser. (Ex: Mobicip)
c. For 9 years old and up: Go with Google Safe Search—Go to google.com/preferences, click “Turn on Safe Search”and then “LockSafeSearch”. On a mobile device, go to google.com, click “Settings”, then select “Search settings” and choose “Filter explicit results”.

  • I am a MEDIA MENTOR. If I am in my gadget most part of my day, what kind of example am I setting to my children? Yes, I DO NOT NEED to be online everyday. The rest of the world does not need to know what I ate or what I did today. Some feelings and experiences must be private.

I hope these tips are helpful. In the end, what will work for your child is what counts. As a final reminder, there are so called “digital disabilities”, which may happen because of too much gadget time. Examples are stress injuries, hearing and eye problems, possible speech delay, among others. Again, it is about moderation and what works for your household.

Too much of a good thing is bad… more so with gadgets.