parenting

By: Kay Ezekiel Ravago, OTRP

I am an educator, an occupational therapist and a mother of three. I am very aware of the different behavior modification practices, the different parenting styles, the importance of education and collaboration of education stakeholders. I am a mother to a nine year old, a three year old and an 11 month old. As the school’s program director, I get to be the “mother” of our pre school and grade school students too.
Yet, despite of all these supposed background knowledge and experience… I still ask myself the question—“WHAT’S THE DEAL WITH KIDS AND GADGETS”?

Some say its ‘the generation thing’. Kids nowadays are called “digital natives”, as they spend a considerable amount of time in a specific gadget, may it be for entertainment, socialization or education purposes.
We did a research study in our school (South Learners Creative School, Las Pinas) among our Grade 4-6 students, and we found out that almost 87% of them use social media. This does not include younger children who may be allowed internet time, may it be watching kid-oriented shows in the internet or even playing games.
Now, for me to fight the data is futile, and the next step is to manage the inevitable.
I cannot track anymore how many times I am asked the question—“Should we allow gadget to our child”?

I am a believer of moderation. I grew up in a disciplined, authoritarian parenting style. Although it worked for me, I do not think it will work very well for the children in this generation.
YES, I will allow gadget time, but like what I said—it is just a “gadget time”.

• I enforce a ‘gadget time’ to each child. It is not more than 2 hours per day for Sophia (3 years old), and only on weekends for Summer (9 years old), but for 2-3 hours per day. Although there may be circumstances that I give “bonus time”, especially to my 9 year old, I make sure she understands that this is just a part of our reward system.
• I make it clear that gadget time is a privilege, and can be taken away once expected behaviors are not met.
• I make sure I AM THERE TOO. They cannot do their gadgets in private. This way, I can see what they are watching.
• For some sights (especially educational ones), I watch with them, and ask them about the content they saw.
• I do not allow them to have Facebook accounts (yet). What is the point? I, as a parent, will gauge and train my child towards responsible social media use. Until I have educated and guided them, there is no need to have any Facebook account. Further, aam seeing so many young children, already with social media accounts.
• Regarding the screening time: The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) recommends not more than one hour of screen time for children 18 months to 5 years old.
• If your child has a speech delay, or other behavioral concerns, talk with your developmental pediatrician and therapist/s about your rules and stand regarding screening time. It has to be

• Make sure there are other activities in the house. How about group games, art time, free reading, food preparation, getting a pet, drawing, clay and other activities? Free time (with no gadget) will not hurt anyone.
• PRACTICE setting your rules regarding screening time. BE FIRM. BE CONSISTENT. As I always say, we are the parent here… we are the adult here. Mind check: Do not forget these.
• SAFE BROWSING BY AGE
  I am not YET practicing these to my kids, but safe browsing guidelines are always helpful. These are some tips from Parents Magazine (December, 2016)

a. For kids under 5 years old: Build a “list” of sites that will be allowed
b. For kids 5 to 8 years old: Use a kid friendly browser. Disable the browser (Safari, Chrome, etc) then replace it with a kid friendly browser. (Ex: Mobicip)
c. For 9 years old and up: Go with Google Safe Search—Go to google.com/preferences, click “Turn on Safe Search”and then “LockSafeSearch”. On a mobile device, go to google.com, click “Settings”, then select “Search settings” and choose “Filter explicit results”.

• I am a MEDIA MENTOR. If I am in my gadget most part of my day, what kind of example am I setting to my children? Yes, I DO NOT NEED to be online everyday. The rest of the world does not need to know what I ate or what I did today. Some feelings and experiences must be private.

I hope these tips are helpful. In the end, what will work for your child is what counts. As a final reminder, there are so called “digital disabilities”, which may happen because of too much gadget time. Examples are stress injuries, hearing and eye problems, possible speech delay, among others. Again, it is about moderation and what works for your household.

Too much of a good thing is bad… more so with gadgets.